I grew up without being taught how to recognize or understand my emotions, which led to unhealthy coping skills. These coping strategies took the form of perfectionism, cleaning obsessively, and high anxiety. I had very little control over myself growing up. I was taught the “right way” and “only way” to do things, I was always told what to do, who to be friends with, to constantly push myself to perfection, and never feel or express my emotions. I honestly thought my life was great. I was a high achieving kid, growing into a high achieving adult. I graduated high school with high honors and graduated undergrad and graduate school with a dazzling GPA most people strive for. I got a job right out of college and thought my life was on track. However, I quickly felt unfulfilled and lost. I no longer had distractions or goals to work towards. I did not know what I liked or how to make myself happy without trying to perfect my life or move towards new achievements. I was in a toxic relationship and lost all my friends. I held so much shame and judgement towards myself. Without knowing, I formed new unhealthy coping strategies of cycling through binge and restrictive eating, overworking myself in the gym, numbing my feelings with drugs and alcohol, and my obsessive cleaning became worse. I had no idea how to understand myself and my needs.